Does my technique in this poem work and still maintain a message?

The title is excellent and the poem that follows is unique in form and deep with meaning. I would only suggest reworking the last couplet as it doesn't follow the pattern of similar words. Perhaps you meant it that way, however, to make the words stand out. You have been inspired to write an outstanding poem. I would say you are once again blessed to be in a "poetic mood". Thank you.